Thank you for your time. Peace, total well being with God indescribable beyond human understanding be with you. The following contains more testimony than given in a comment on Facebook. We are all in this together; we can only bear witness as diligently as possible of Salvation through Jesus Christ, The Word of God, The Gospel – Good News.
Spent the last 30 years surrendering to Christ Jesus and The Gospel of Life with much suffering for myself and family for His Name and The Sacredness of Life. At one point a Catholic husband and Professor wife name Tricia, not even knowing me very well at first; upon hearing some of my testimony; with professional workmen already working on her mom’s condo – hired me to re-shelve/paint closets & build a half wall with banister so her elderly mom would have the banister to lean on when going into the sunken living room.
My study of Salvation history, helped by a 3.7 GPA in college in eclectic courses like rhetoric & composition, sociology, into to literature, psychology, calc i & ii, information science, chemistry, physics, U.S. history; of course learning with mutual respect of clergy, Priests & ministers & one rabbi; and myriads of learned & not so learned prayers & givers of time, talent, & treasure for The Gospel & the poor —> (The list below must be curtailed very much; a proper list would probably fill these pages. Most lately donating to Mercy For Life Uganda & communicating online with them; who tirelessly Evangelize & work for the poor. A Brother Knight from Idaho, I think travels back and forth & actually has a wife there. Anthony and Rose recently had a baby boy named Francis.)
Came to much realization upon learning from Leo xiii, Pius x, Benedict xv, Pius xi, Pius xii, Paul vi, John Paul ii; Dietrich & Alice von Hildebrand, Bishop Fulton J. Sheen, Mother Teresa, Mother Angelica, Fr. Pacwa & myriads of visiting Clergy & guests on EWTN; Billy Graham & other honorable Bible Believing Judaeo Christians who are not in complete Communion with The Apostolic Catholic/Orthodox Tradition; (more books that I have room to site); lives of the Saints; other virtuous Christians like the Ten Booms;
(there is a final point to the following long discussion of two people I admire for thier charity.)
Paul Newman is a hero of mine because he started ‘Hole in The Wall Gang’ for a free camp for severely handicapped kids, by money he earned by Newman’s own first started by homemade salad dressing given as Christmas presents to friends. He gave poignant testimony of a disabled child thanking him personally. Actually sand a song about Jesus & Mary in “Cool Hand Luke” when not allowed to go to his mom’s funeral, the put in ‘the hold’ because the ‘bosses’ & warden who was fond of saying things like ‘you gotta get your mind right, Luke’ or ‘what we got here is a failure to communicate’ feared Luke getting ‘rabbit’ in his blood and escaping. At the end, after the warden promise to kill Luke if he ran one more time, Luke stood in an old weathered broken down window of a Church, after a prayer to God, and said, ‘what we got here is a failure to communicate.’ And they shot him in the neck.
His tragic flaw was he felt the need to be a hero to his fellows on the chain gang, even after he earned his acceptance ‘stripes’ when Joe Kennedy, sanctioned by the guards beat Luke within an inch of his life; and finally left a completely beat Luke very tiredly swinging weak punches into the air. Joe Kennedy with compassion in his voice had told Luke to stay down; but Luke just tiredly said, ‘you’re gonna have to kill me.’ When the warden, bosses, even in front of the police wouldn’t let an ambulance take Luke to the hospital, but put him in a prison vehicle saying we have an infirmary. At the very end of the movie, Joe Kennedy describes Luke, who truly did, die with a smile on his face. At one point in the picture, after being captured from a short escape; Luke was forced to dig a ditch, getting boss (so and so)’s dirt out of the boss’s ‘hole,’ then another boss would force look to get the dirt out of that boss’s yard. Until finally Luke broke, saying please don’t hit me any more boss, crying at the boss’ feat.
Sometimes when we work, & reach out, and cry our eyes out because consciences need to be informed and so much unearned suffering in the world children by the tens of thousands every single day suffering brutal painful deaths; others suffering unspeakable things; and so much more – we feel like the ‘tares’ are getting the better of us – and the needed rest at times or sins of omission make a person feel ‘broken,’ no matter how many ‘ditches’ we dig and fill in, over and over; but the joys of turnarounds at the last minute and signs of the reticence due to faulty less than creative ‘logic’ by things of clearly proclaiming ‘Project Rachel,’ or ‘Project Joseph,’ for healing. Or like watering down the Gospel to keep people in the pews back fired, pandering to the so called ‘tired of hearing it,’ bias.
I must bring up Audrey Hepburn. I knew of her work at the end of her life, tirelessly working for 5+ years as ambassador for impoverished children – giving up a peaceful secluded life until she painfully died of cancer in 1993. But I had the likes of Fr. Richard HoLung & Missionaries of The Poor (who speaks so well on time, talent, and treasure for The Gospel *and* those in need to light a lamp on the hillside – not bland ‘social justice’ terminology either and Mother Teresa of Missionaries of Charity; World Vision, later Cross Catholic Outreach, Human Life International, Operation Rescue – Randal Terry who also sings beautiful Catholic & Sacredness of Life songs will be greatly rewarded in Heaven; as will Joan Andrews Bell, & many others.
For some reason, in 2008, I came across an Biography of Audrey Hepburn; narrated by Richard Kiley. The work she did for the children; visiting dangerous places, especially Somalia with skeletal children having swollen bellies and bulging eyes; holding them; trying to feed them – in I don’t know how many trips. She spoke many languages, and went on interview after interview. One of my favorites is, Audrey Hepburn Interviewed on French Current Affairs TV Show “Repéres” (1992) on Youtube. She specifically speaks of God very well. (I have to read the subtitles in English.)
Mel Ferrer and she were God Parents. And, while it was too painful for her to play Anne Frank because of the immense ordeal, indescribable suffering she & her family & families of Arnhem Belgium went through under Nazi occupation she did read from her Anne Frank’s Diary, which references God, also available on YouTube. Providence definitely raised her up in part to raise awareness of the immense unearned suffering of the poor.
~ So, in 2008, for some reason I found a kindred spirit in Audrey Hepburn. I did spend a lot tearful time watching her with the children during a period of 2008. Sean Ferrer gave a great discussion on his mom referring to her as his best friend. It starts out with ‘Parley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme’ in the background. It is in four parts, and Sean expressed in loving eloquence regarding her; and a little on his dad Mel Ferrer with perfect charity toward both of them. One of the things he said about her was, what you see is what you get. And the Ferrer’s were actually astounded that so many were so interested in her movie career and the detail, since it was only one relatively speaking part of their personal life. But since it helped raise awareness for the poor she did spend time answering questions regarding them.
~ You know it’s funny – my family watched movies like ‘The Ten Commandments,” “The Greatest Story Ever Told,” “Oaklahoma,” “The Music Man,” “Gone with The Wind,” and “Wizard of Oz” when they came on in the cycle of network TV. Of course, Christmas shows, like a Charlie Brown Christmas, with the greatest animated part being Linus describing, ‘For on this day in the town of David, unto you is born a Savior, which is Christ the Lord.” But my mom simply loved “My Fair Lady.” We watched that film every single year. (I’ve thought of writing a story with a Pip type character becoming not only a Gentleman, but also a Chaplain and meeting and Eliza Doolittle already become a Lady given a flower shop to run by Kernel Pickering or Professor Higgins. And, of course, because Eliza Doolittle’s dad was not a gentleman; Professor Higgins learned to be a less grumpy guardian. Smile. I love the dialogue when Audrey Hepburn says that Kernel Pickering treats both a Duchess and a street flower girl like ladies. And the grumpy Professor Higgins showing his colors says he treats a Duchess like a street flower girl.
~ (By the way, I love to have personal poetic license to form my own plot lines in relationships in her movies. For example, in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” George Peppard is strictly and escort – but does platonically hold his lonely client falling asleep with them on occasion. And Buddy Epson had a chaste marriage with Audrey Hepburn to take care of his children – and shouldn’t have emotionally black mailed her to help her family that way. And she was purely a concierge for rich people to have parties in her apartment to get away from home life for some recreation – but nothing really bad was allowed in her apartment. And she ripped her dress on a nail or something when that is referred to in the film. They didn’t see to find a Church rescue mission or something.
~ I also use poetic license for my personal understanding with a scene in West Side Story, also. In the circumstance with Tony & Maria in the Wedding shop, when Tony picks up the top hat of the tuxedo exhibit manikin, and Maria says, ‘but that;s PaPa’ then Tony apologizes and asks for Maria’s hand in marriage – and so on – just so sweet; and they start saying my hand your hand exchanging mock wedding vows. Very tender poignant scene for the circumstance they find themselves.
Anyway, there is one Audrey Hepburn picture I can’t bring myself to watch. It is called ‘Unforgiven’ also starring Burt Lancaster. An excellent film where she plays a Native American with Burt Lancaster as her guardian. Why can’t I watch it.. tears form in my eyes as I write this. She was given leave from the production because she was ‘with child,’ and there were complications. She was under contract and when things seemed O.K. she returned to filming. She was thrown from a horse, and the baby was painfully miscarried.
~ This relates to something personal. When I was born, my mom was living with her first husband. His name is on my birth certificate; but he is not my biological father. My mom had severe problems with feeling accepted, nurtured, and loved because of some things that happened in her up bringing. Her first husband was very verbally abusive. If she missed the bus, and caught the next one 15 to 20 minutes later after working as a secretary in a bank – he would do things like angrily ask where have you been and call her a whore. To the last days of her life in 2008, she has no idea what she saw in my so-called dad. (He disowned me in 1995, but I got a recent letter from him. He indicates anger at the name Jesus Christ. Once I sent out a family letter – with nothing but a charitable request for more interaction – not overly quoting the Bible. Every where Jesus was in the letter he put obviously annoyed pen marks, saying why does everyone want to bring Jesus into it. Recently he tried to goad my brother John during a visit to him after many years; where my dad in his angry overbearing way would have loved for John to engage him. Ed mocked those who believe in the Resurrection of Jesus Christ. He was very physically abusive when we were young, and remains emotionally abusive to this day, like John witness him on the phone with my youngest brother Bret; whom I haven’t heard from since 1995; at the time Ed disowned me, I requested of Bret, then living with Ed, a graphic artist for a family oriented pro life sign.)
~ Oh, thankfully my mom divorce Ed from their ‘Common Law’ marriage. He has no business raising kids. One time he bruised my older brother’s liver by kicking him, I think. Ed pleaded with Louis at the hospital not to tell my Uncle Jerry Montanile or ‘one punch’ Uncle Matty Montanile. (My family said Montanile originated in France; but our ancestors went over the Alps to Naples, Italy. So I’m French-Italian-Spanish but not 100% Latin because my grandpa Julio Pelaez & Grandma Margo Dias Estrada Pelaez said we have a touch of Scottish blood.) – So, I don’t know what Louis was promised, but he didn’t tell on Ed. Once Louis, visited us in Maybrook NY, after serving in Vietnam in the Army behind the lines. He came in full dress Uniform, I guess in part to show his God given dignity. Ed and him drank a couple of beers and started to scuffle. Ed very physically strong (he used to hit baseballs way up in the canopy of leaves of Maple trees on 117st. in Our Lady of Perpetual Help Parish, in Ozone Park, NYC when playing baseball with the neighborhood lads. Ed ended up with his hands around Louis throat, Louis’s face turned beet red, almost purple — spittle was ejecting from his mouth with intensely horse gargles — my mom said, you’re killing him! Ed, said, no I’m not and wouldn’t stop. So my mom tapped Ed on the head with her open toed kind of sandal like shoe heel. He jumped up, grabbed the shoe, backed her up to the stairs going up to the second floor, in the Cape Cod we rented on Homestead Ave; and beat her arms deep black and blue. I can still remember how those bruises gradually turned greenish, then yellowish as they faded away over the next two weeks or so.
~ Anyway, Ed did give me a Rudyard Kipling’s “If” Plaque at one point. In an essay at college on descriptive writing, I wrote regarding a visit I made as an adult to Maybrook, and met with my 5th grade teacher Mr. DeSantis (btw, I was the first student in his 13 years of teaching to earn straight ‘A’s – but I must admit, he did give me an ‘A for effort in penmanship. He used to say, ‘then you’ll be a man, my son’ quoting ‘If,’ – mostly to Ricky Saddler whom he played checkers with a lot at recess. So the reason Ed disowned me was because; while I tied ‘going to the mountaintop’ of school house hill to the Rudyard Kipling poem Plague Ed gave me (and he did try to give sound advice on the rare occasions I saw him after 12 years old – he mostly abandoned us) with visiting Mr. DeSantis as a father figure to show forgiveness in the tone of the essay – I sent it to Ed, I suppose to hear some honest contrition which he never showed. I do pray for him; and honest harbor nothing against him. He’s married to a third Catholic, though secularized wife named Rose Marie twenty years younger than him. The reason he wrote me, was because with his overbearing attitude trying to get in touch with some of my siblings; they had another falling out. From his perspective, after deliberately refusing contact after all these years; (once I sent him a letter with lyrics from Barbara Streisand’s ‘The Way We Were,’ that has the in the lyrics ‘so it’s the laughter we will remember.’ But he was so bitter over that essay and that somehow Louis got his address and he didn’t know who to blame he stayed out of contact. So, from his, why doesn’t anyone want contact with me whiny attitude he is scraping the bottom of the barrel. You may sense bitterness here, but in Christ, I assure you, the peace of God that surpasses all understanding fills me more and more – every year/month/and week. I will write him, but I’m not a doormat to his overbearing sarcastic angry demeanor.
~ So why all of this discussion that only seems a little related. Well, without planning it at all; toward the end of my mom’s life; I asked a question. “Mom, did you try to abort me?” She said, well Italians used to mix wine & tobacco and other ingredients to ‘bring on their monthly.’ Now, no one has to believe anyone’s private revelation. But I remember things from dreams and based on Scripture like “I knew you before the womb, sanctified you in the womb, to be a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5 And God forms relationships with us. God does not form ‘blobs’ of soul. Even Near Death Experiences show that consciousness exists apart from the body. “Truly Thou formed my inmost being [sentient conscious soul], Thou knit me in my mother’s womb, I am fearfully wonderfully made, wonderful are all Your Works.” – Psalm 139:13-14 It may be of interest that I kept a worn taped together over and over with packing tape, picture of an 16-18 year old week baby with that quote starting in 1998 for over two decades because a lady with child in tears came over to look at it; but said, don’t talk to me. When she started walking away I tried to call her back; but she said I told you don’t talk to me. Tears forming now. For the longest time, I partially blamed myself because she went through with letting them painfully murder her child. And among other Scriptures, “We are His Workmanship created for good works in Christ already prepared for us to walk within.” Ephesians 2:10 Also, the Bishop of Iilorin Nigeria in 1998 gave an Imprimatur for a prayer baptizing these babies who already had a baptism of ordeal, like the Holy Innocents of Bethlehem for whatever is done to the least is done to Jesus Christ Himself. Plus in some of his Encyclicals Benedict xvi alluded to their being human persons worth of protection – and a God of Mercy by Jesus Christ’s own Words regarding their Angels are before The Face of The Father all of the time; protect them with all due diligence. We are our brothers and sisters keepers; so my dreams are similar to being under water and not being able to reach the surface; we are connected to the consciousness of the children in the womb by the human spirit – and the more un-welcomed by lack of an informed conscience of those who have power of stewardship and care giving – by my experience of dreaming what my conscious soul experienced the greater intensity joining with Jesus Christ in The Garden of Gethsemane, ‘my soul is anguished unto death!’ These are just abstract words to most – but the real possibility of this cannot be denied; and we always decide on the side of protecting the helpless now experiencing death at the rate of tens of thousands per day world wide.. upwards of 120,000 – the most immense mass murder by philosophy/ideology in human history.
However; thank God; like the humble John Cardinal O’Connor – in season and out of season – we will not be moved; we press on toward the prize of the high called of God in Christ Jesus for the Gospel of Life; and like the beloved Cardinal, whether we live a week or twenty years, may our last breath be for the Sacredness of human life. He kept telling the media – something we should shout from the mountaintops; but ignored by the media to paint us as biased against women – that any woman ‘with child,’ can come to The Catholic Church for help, and if necessary, free of charge – all expenses paid to carry her child to term or let another loving family raise the child by adoption. He was given the Charism of Life, then officially in 2004 on the Feast of The Annuciation. Good Counsel Homes and Sisters of Life (like Mother Teresas) carry out this wonderful work of God and are spreading.
John Cardinal O’Connor, (who asked The College of Cardinals for an Apostolic Letter on The Sacredness of Human Life, because; Centesimus Annus the 100th anniversary of Rerum Novarum (On New Things or Capitol and Labor; while touching on Sacredness of Human Life focused on continued warnings of disguised socialism.
These warnings have very much gone unheeded by less than courage of The Holy Spirit voicing the tactics of those who use ‘bread & circuses, a.ka. government alms with a biased educational/ media / arts & entertainment & other influential facets of a so-called ‘enlightened’ society who hold up a so called right to brutally murder tens of thousands of children world wide. What is done to the least; by not creatively according to weighted dire need as Evangelium Vitae; U.S. Bishop’s “Living The Gospel of Life;’ John Paul ii’s February 14, 2000 year of Jubilee Clarion Call for a creative sustained sign using an integrated concerted effort with all of the pastoral, educational, and charitable works of The Church informing and raising awareness in all the facets of the secular word.
On top of this grave sin of omission, rather than improve the dialogue with those struggling with adulterous or sins against nature with beauty, goodness, and truth – against Church teaching, the example of Jesus Christ Himself, The Apostles, and Church history positions of honor for those who show clear repentance and dedication to The Gospel are given to open or ambiguous as to repentance sinners.
You speak of Chesterton standing up to the primacy of philosophically ideologically based with many terminologies the primacy of (Freedom, Equality, and Brotherhood & Sisterhood) over the Divine Revelation; yet you play into the hands of those who deliberately poison the minds of young & old by peer pressure & increasing oppressive laws against freedom of conscience & free speech & expressing religious observance in the public sphere. They deliberately flip on any real human social issue, exacerbate them, play on heart strings with particular situation they themselves often helped to bring about — as the wind blows to form an emotionally charged mass reaction in the colleges, media, arts & entertainment industry & other venues. Yet you show reticence in raising awareness for the most pressing and dire need of our time consciences to be open to The Holy Spirit for conversion or planted seeds of The Gospel or Natural Law by The God of Nature – Creator which gives the inalienable right to life; callously rejected in the world by tens of thousands of times a day, upwards of 120,000 thousand children brutally exterminated every single day. Medical panel or state court enforced against family, even patient wishes for euthanasia has been on a steep incline.
It is so very sad that the propaganda playing at heartstrings war of attrition to water down The Gospel and urgency of now; using peer pressure with increased legislative & adjudications to form an anti-Gospel form of godliness has escaped being spoken of with the urgency of now at the pulpits in all Judaeo Christian Faith traditions and the podiums in the secular world which aids & abets those who deny Sacred Truths Self Evident Given by our Creator. Dietrich Bonhoeffer who indicated that theology that does not help the weak and helpless is cheap grace must be praying constantly for us.